Daddy, Daddy, Me Read online

Robin nodded, chewed his bottom lip. "You can't fit."

  "No, but I could sit next to you? Or we could sit on the couch together."

  "Okay. With Daddy Jeff?"

  At the sound of his name, Jeff twitched.

  "Yeah, you can sit between us." Donny sat on the other side of the couch and patted the space between him and Jeff.

  Robin crawled up, settled beside him, little hand around his father's ankle. The boy's thumb popped into his mouth.

  He held his hand out by Robin's thigh. "Hold my hand?"

  The little boy stared at him for a long, long time, then the thumb came out, fingers placed in his. He smiled gently and curled his fingers around Robin's, then turned his attention to the TV, to getting the DVD going.

  Soon the gentle sounds of Max and Ruby filled the room. It took seven minutes before Robin cuddled into his side, and fell sound asleep. He nodded: nap time.

  Donny looked at the three of them. The family he was here to take care of. He felt like this was meant to be; they were his family.

  Pretty fu-- no, not fucking, pretty darn cool.

  Chapter Two

  Jeff woke up to the smell of something cooking. He sniffed. Tomato sauce. He frowned. Had Mitch come home?

  No. No way.

  He sat up, heart suddenly racing. He'd fallen asleep, with the kids. Both of Beth's kids.

  "Robin?"

  The baby was gone, too and he panicked for a moment, until he heard voices coming from the kitchen, one of them definitely adult.

  He stumbled into the kitchen, blinking. "Robin?"

  "Daddy Jeff! The man's making pizza!"

  The man? He looked over, smiled at the young man behind the stove. Shit, what was the guy's name? What was he doing? Sleeping while this stranger was with his children?

  The guy turned his attention to Robin first. "It's Donny, remember?" When Robin nodded, Donny turned to Jeff and gave him a smile. "You looked like you needed the rest, so I thought I'd start supper."

  "I. Thank you. God, I'm sorry, man." He headed for the coffee machine, started pressing buttons. "Have you been good, Robbie?"

  His son -- his son, Jesus Christ -- nodded. "Uh-huh."

  "He's been great. And no apologies necessary -- my nefarious plan is working -- I'm proving just how indispensible I am. You'll have to hire me now."

  Kimberley gurgled from the car seat on the floor in the corner, as if agreeing.

  "Let me call your references and the job is yours." He needed help and Donny was here and needed a job.

  "Go ahead and call them now -- I've got supper under control." Donny's cheeks went slightly red. "Not that I'm trying to tell you what to do, but I'd really like this job and you seem like you need me to have it, too."

  "Did you find everything you needed?" He knew his kitchen was better than well-stocked.

  "Oh, yeah, it's all very organized and well put together." Donny nodded to a backpack on one of the chairs in the breakfast nook. "My reference sheet is in the backpack, front pouch."

  "Thanks." He gave Robin a kiss on the way by and chuckled at Kimberley, who was kicking and cooing.

  It didn't take long to find the references and he stepped into the den, calling his sister, Jillian, first. "Jellybean? I think I found a nanny."

  "Truly? Oh, Jeff, thank God. I was beginning to think you weren't going to. Tell me all about her."

  "His name's Donny. He's got a degree in early childhood. He has references."

  "His name? You've picked a boy to be your nanny?" She sounded skeptical.

  "Yeah. Yeah, I have, unless you want the job."

  "God, no. You know me and children don't mix unless in very small doses." He could picture her exaggerated shudder. She'd been a trooper the first ten days he'd had the kids, but she'd all but run out of there the second he'd said he thought he could handle things on his own. "So he's got a degree, huh? And good references?"

  He shuffled the papers. "Two professors, a day care center director, and Mickey over at the Out-Reach."

  He knew Mickey -- the man had asked his boss to do fundraisers for them, and in the few years since then, Mickey and Jeff had become good friends.

  "Those sound like good references. I hope he works out, Jeff; I know how badly you want to keep the kids."

  He rolled his eyes. They'd had this discussion. Beth's parents and he had had the discussion. His lawyer. Matt. Everyone in the world who knew him had an opinion. Hell, people he didn't know probably had an opinion. It didn't matter; he was these children's father -- like it or not -- and more than anything, Beth had wanted him to raise them, if she couldn't.

  So, no matter what, he would.

  Beth had been his best friend since kindergarten, for Christ's sake.

  "Yeah. I just wanted to check in."

  "Good luck, Jeffster. You know I'm pulling for you."

  "I do. Love you, Jellybean."

  "Love you too, Jeffster." The phone went dead as his sister hung up.

  He called the first two references and got glowing results, the third he left a message for, then he called Mickey. "Mickey? Jeff Roberts. How goes it?"

  "Hey, Chef Jeff. How's it hanging, man? I haven't talked to you since what? End of January?"

  "Yeah. Yeah." They'd had a little debrief over how the Christmas fundraisers had gone. "How's it going?"

  "Great. I was just thinking about you. You and Mitch should come over for dinner, man. Lew loves to try and impress you."

  He winced. "Uh. Mitch and I... It. Well..."

  "What? You two had been together forever! It's been, what?"

  "Seven years." He'd thought they really were going to be together forever, too.

  "Jesus!"

  Donny's head popped around the corner. "Supper's gonna be about five more minutes, man."

  "Thank you." He nodded and sighed. "Look, I'm calling about Donny Gleason."

  "Donny Gleason? He's a good kid. What about him?" It had to be a good sign that Mickey knew him by name.

  "I'm interviewing him for a nanny position."

  "A nanny po... What the... Oh, my fucking God. It was your Beth. I told Lew I thought so, but he said no way." Mickey sighed. "Oh, God, Jeff. I'm so sorry, man. She was a good woman."

  "She was." Hysteria bubbled up in his chest and he swallowed it down. He had to get through this; which is what he told himself every time her death started to feel overwhelming. "Tell me about Donny."

  "He's a good kid. He's been volunteering here since he was fourteen."

  "Yeah? I've never seen him, but my hours..." He did more behind the scenes stuff like cooking for fundraisers than he did actual hands on with the kids Out-Reach mentored.

  "Shit, Jeff, I haven't seen you in months. You're busy. Especially now with Beth's... Are you going to keep them?"

  "They're mine." Of course he was. It was what Beth wanted.

  "Well, Donny's good with kids and I know he's been working damn hard on his degree. If you hire him to look after your kids, he's going to do a damn good job."

  "That's what everyone's said." It looked like he had a nanny. Thank God.

  "Well, there you go. Good luck with them, man. And don't be a stranger."

  "I'll see. Maybe we'll get together." When the kids were grown.

  Mickey's laughter came through the line. "I know a blow-off when I hear one. Take care, man."

  "See you."

  He hung up, closed his eyes, and prayed. "Please. Please, Bethy. I'm trying so hard for you, for them. Help me make the right decision. I miss you, you bitch."

  "Food's ready!" The cheerful call came from the kitchen.

  "I'm coming." He wiped his eyes, headed in. "Looks good, man. If you want the job, it's yours."

  "Really? That's awesome! I do. I want it. Thanks!" Donny beamed at him, then came toward him, looking for all the world like he was going to hug Jeff. Instead, at the last minute, one hand shot out.

  He shook Donny's hand, tried to smile. "Can you start now? I mean, you sort of have."
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  Donny grinned and nodded, turning him toward the table where Robin was sitting with his very own little pizza in front of him. "I can. I'll need to go home tonight and bring my stuff back tomorrow. Is that okay? It's just I don't even have a change of clothes or anything."

  "That's completely reasonable."

  "Cool. I made you a tomato, ham, and cheese pizza, but if you want a different kind..."

  It was only then that he noticed the table had been set with three settings -- one for him and Donny as well as where Robin sat, Kimberley was still in her car seat in the corner, dozing by the looks of things.

  "That sounds lovely. Thank you." He sat, staring at the plate, suddenly so fucking tired. He'd been on his own for two weeks and it was almost overwhelming now, to have help, to not be the only adult.

  "What do you want to drink?" Donny asked, opening the fridge door.

  "Papple Dus!" shouted Robin.

  Donny laughed. "Okay, one apple juice, one bottle of formula and..."

  "I would like a root beer, please." Jeff smiled at Robin. "Would you like me to cut your pizza up?"

  "No! I do it!"

  "That knife is pretty dull; he shouldn't be able to hurt himself with it." Donny handed him a can of root beer. "Unless you have one of those pizza wheels?"

  "I do." He stood, going to one of the dozen meticulously organized drawers. "This entire section is the bladed tools." He pulled the wheel out, smiled. "I bought this in Chicago during a food festival." He and Mitch had met that weekend.

  "Cool. I couldn't help but notice you hadn't really child-proofed the place yet. Is that something you'd like me to do?" Donny sat at the table with a glass of water for himself and a pizza that looked the same as Jeff's.

  "I... I put locks on the medicine cabinet." He'd put all the breakables at least four feet off the ground, too. He knew he'd have to do something about the stairs when Kimberley started crawling, but that wasn't for awhile yet.

  Donny grinned at him. "What about that lovely drawer of sharp objects you just fished the pizza cutter out of? How about the stairs? Do you have a gate for that?" Donny shook his head. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, man -- you've only just gotten the kids, so it's no wonder you haven't known where to begin with it. But there are a hundred different ways a kid could hurt themselves and it's fairly easy to take precautions. I can make a run to the store tomorrow on my way back."

  "I... should I give you some money?" He felt so stupid. "What... what is it exactly you'll be doing and won't? I have a housekeeper who comes in three times a week for cleaning and laundry..."

  "Oh, yeah? That rocks. I guess if you're working two 'til midnight, you're going to be gone from about one in the afternoon until one in the morning, right? I'll be making their meals, playing with them, naps, baths, bedtime."

  He nodded, sighed. He was going to miss so much.

  "And yeah, if you could give me a couple hundred dollars, I can get the whole place childproofed. I'll want to sit down with you at some point and talk about how you want them to grow up, goals, stuff like that."

  "Goals..." He stared at the pizza again. God, what was he going to do?

  "Yeah, like reading, writing, potty-training, that kind of thing. Whether or not you want Kimberley to use a soother."

  "A what?"

  "A soother. A soose? Binky? The little nipple like thing that some babies suck on? It's a hot button issue for a lot of parents."

  "A pacifier? A button issue? Why? Does she need one? Robin had one." He was going to cry. Maybe he needed a beer.

  "I don't think she needs one, but some parents want to use it to keep the babies from crying." Donny gave him a gentle smile. "You don't have to decide everything today."

  "Good." He looked at Robin, who was eating eagerly. "Is it good, kiddo?"

  Robin nodded. "Like."

  "Good."

  Donny gave him a brilliant smile. "Yeah, it is."

  He ate one slice of his pizza -- it tasted just fine and he hadn't had to cook it, so it worked for him.

  "You want some peaches for dessert, Robin?" Donny gave his son an easy smile.

  "No. Cookies."

  "Robin isn't an herbivore. At all."

  "You don't like peaches?" Donny's eyes went wide. "I love peaches. They're so sweet. Like candy."

  Robin's head tilted. "Candy? Daddy Jeff? Candy?"

  He didn't know what to say. Robin could have peaches, but not candy.

  "Sorry," Donny mouthed at him.

  "You can try the peaches, sure."

  "They're awesome, Robin." Donny got up and grabbed a couple from the bowl of fruit on the island and brought them over along with a knife and started slicing the fruit. Robin didn't look convinced and Jeff reached over, stole one, and popped it in his mouth. Not bad, for early in the season.

  Donny laughed. And pushed the plate he was slicing the peaches onto closer to Robin. "Are you going to let your daddy steal them all?"

  "NO!" Robin laughed and popped one in his mouth, face screwing up as he chewed. They waited, watched, then Robin swallowed. He took another piece.

  "Pretty good, huh?" Donny cut the second peach up, adding the slices to Robin's plate before licking juices off his hand.

  Jeff's eyes were caught for a moment, but he looked away. He wasn't looking for a fuck, not right now. Right now he wanted five hours of sleep in a row.

  "So what time is bedtime for this one?" Donny asked around another bite of pizza.

  "He falls asleep around ten, mostly." He knew that Beth had put Robin to sleep earlier, but Jeff simply wasn't up to the fight. The kid missed his mom, there was no way Jeff was going to be evil and force Robin to sleep.

  "Okay. What about the baby, I assume she's still up a couple times in the night?"

  "Every couple of hours. She's just taking the bottle." That had been a nightmare. Beth had been breastfeeding and Kimberley had reacted badly at the switch to the bottle.

  "Okay, good to know. Is there a number where I can reach you? I don't anticipate calling you a lot, but it might be necessary the first couple of days, you know?"

  "Oh, God yes. You'll have my cell, the number of the kitchen, my sister. Anything you need." He wouldn't leave this kid high and dry.

  "Awesome. Anything else I should know?"

  "I don't know. I've not been doing this long..."

  "So we'll figure it out together, Jeff. Kids need love and care." He got a big grin. "And not to be able to reach into a drawer full of knives."

  "Right." This had been his dream house -- his and Mitch's. Well, his. Mitch had just wanted perfection.

  "It'll all work out, you'll see. At least you will once you've caught up on your sleep." Donny sounded so sure, so cheerful.

  "Yeah." He was suddenly so tired he was afraid he was going to burst into tears. "Thanks for the pizza."

  "No problem. Are there books in Robin's room?"

  "I bought a couple. I didn't know which ones were right, the ones Beth read, and he just cried, so I found a twenty-four hour kids channel and put that on." Clothes, toys, books -- he didn't have anything to help them.

  "Okay, I can see what he's got and pick some more books up tomorrow when I get the stuff for childproofing."

  "Thank you. I. Do you want to see the rest of the house?" He couldn't eat.

  "Sure, if you're done." Donny gave him a wry smile. "I guess you're used to better food."

  "No. No. I just..." He shook his head, actually teared up. "Sorry. Look, let's look at the house. Robin, you want to show Donny the house?" Jeff was living on coffee and toast.

  "Me show! Me show!"

  Donny grinned and held out his hand, Robin taking it easily.

  "I'll be right there." He scooped up his baby girl, buried his face in her sweet smelling skin and sobbed as soon as they walked away.

  Chapter Three

  Donny paid the taxi driver and hauled the shitload of bags he had with him out of the car. It took him two trips to get them from the sidewalk to th
e front door. He knocked the door and then let himself in. "It's only me. Donny."

  "Are you the nanny?" A tall, dark woman who looked just like Jeff met him at the door, grabbed one of his bags. "I sent Jeff to work early. He needed some time."

  "Yeah, I'm Donny. I had to get my clothes and stuff and pick up things for the kids."

  "I'm Jillian, Jeff's sister. I'll help. Robbie's watching cartoons." She hauled his stuff up the stairs, into the huge private suite that Jeff had given him. It was beautifully decorated, expensive, and, like the rest of this huge house, totally not kid-friendly.

  "Cool. I can look after them on my own, though, you know." Jeff hadn't decided he couldn't do the job, had he?

  "I know, but he left about an hour ago. He just... well, he's down. He needs some time with his menus and food costs."

  He'd bet Jeff was down. Not enough sleep, two little kids suddenly dumped in his lap and his best friend dying. "It's a terrible thing that happened. I'm glad he was here for the kids, though."

  He put his backpack and duffel in his room and then gathered up the rest of the bags. "I got a bunch of stuff to childproof the place. It's pretty overwhelming, all the stuff you need to do to be ready for kids and he didn't have the usual nine month warning most folks get."

  "No. No, he didn't, and he should have had help, but that selfish fuck walked away."

  Donny frowned. "I'm sorry?" Their mother had died, right? What was he missing?

  "Mitch. Sorry. I mean, you do know that Jeff is gay, right? Mitch didn't last three days."

  "I did know he was gay, I didn't know he'd been in a relationship." Christ, what a mess. Was it any wonder Jeff had looked strung out?

  "Seven years. Seven years, they built this house together, and Beth dies holding Jeff's hands, worrying about those babies and then motherfucker says he doesn't want the mess." Jillian's eyes were flashing. "I'm seriously considering castrating him."

  He nodded; this guy sounded like a real peach. "Once you have, you should give his nuts to Jeff so he can make a meal of them and feed it to the guy."

  Dark brown eyes -- which were the one thing that was different from Jeff -- met his, widened, then she started to laugh. "I like you."

  He grinned. "Thanks. If you're sticking around for a bit, I'll go ahead and start with the childproofing." He had locks for cupboards and drawers, the toilet and the fridge and stove, as well as childproof covers for the doors so if they closed them, they'd stay closed. Then there were the outlet covers and he hoped Jeff didn't mind, but some of the books and DVDs and stuff were going to have to move up a few shelves. He was surprised that Robin hadn't already destroyed stuff just out of curiosity