Daddy, Daddy, Me Read online

  Kimmie stopped fussing almost immediately, her cries turning into little coos.

  "See?" Donny smiled. This close Jeff could smell him.

  Stop it. Donny was off limits. Off.

  "Yeah. Yeah, I do. Hand me the butter?"

  Donny reached for it, t-shirt rising up and exposing a strip of flesh. Jeff looked away, telling himself to just chill the fuck out. Donny handed over the butter, almost dropping it as their fingers brushed together.

  "Oh, sorry."

  "No problem." Oh, man. Stop it.

  Donny looked at him, blinking a little and then he took a couple steps back and gave him a smile. "So... what do you like doing in your down time?"

  "I don't know anymore." The words were the absolute truth.

  Donny didn't seem surprised by his answer. "Well, I'd suggest, until Kimberley is sleeping through the night, that you find stuff like watching movies and reading books -- stuff that a sleep-deprived Dad can enjoy. I happen to love movies on the couch with popcorn, myself."

  "With my schedule, it'll be watching late-night Kung Fu theater, but yeah. Mitch was a go-baby. He'd pick me up at the restaurant and we'd stay out 'til dawn. Life is different now." Not worse, but different.

  "I heard what happened with him. And I'm sorry, but that kind of thing is better to know from the start, before you get used to the help, you know?" Donny's eyes were sympathetic. And pretty.

  "Yeah. If I meant that little..." He shrugged. What else was there to say?

  "Oh, I don't believe that. You're a sweet catch -- good looking, a chef, comfortably well-off. And obviously he loved doing stuff with you."

  "He loved his life. He still does, from what I can see. He just isn't interested in children or in men who raise them. He wants to play." Bitter? Him? No...

  "Sounds like he's pretty shallow."

  Jeff shrugged. "He's beautiful, wild. He knows what he wants and that's his freedom."

  "I feel like I should say something, but it all sounds pretty trite."

  That made Jeff laugh. "You know, you're right. There's nothing good to say. It just sucks."

  "So you gotta focus on the stuff that doesn't. If you look, there's a lot of it."

  He nodded, put the steak on the built-in grill, the onions in the hot pan with the butter.

  "Oh, damn, smell that."

  Jeff nodded, sliced the bread, happy as he'd been in weeks.

  Donny opened the fridge and looked in it. "What do you want to drink?"

  "I'll drink sparkling water, please."

  "Sounds good." Donny grabbed one of the big blue bottles out of the fridge and set it on the table.

  Soon they were sitting together -- plates served, music on, things simply easy.

  "This is really, really good, Jeff."

  "I hope so. I've been working at it a very long time."

  Donny chuckled. "You make it sound like you're sixty."

  "I'm close." Not even. Not even close.

  Donny laughed outright at that. "You are not."

  "Ancient." He fought the grin.

  "You'd better tell me your secret then, because you look great."

  They laughed together then, and it felt surprisingly easy, to relax and just have a meal.

  After they'd eaten, Donny did the dishes, sending him into the living room to find a movie to watch. He picked up The Producers, then put that down. That was stereotypical. The Matrix? Too loud. Oh, The Thirteenth Warrior was harmless and eye candy.

  Donny wandered in with another bottle of the sparkling water and a couple of glasses. "You pick something for us to watch?"

  "The Thirteenth Warrior?"

  "Oh, yeah. Antonio Banderas is such a sweet bottom in that one." Donny's eye went wide for a second and he bit his lips.

  They stared at each other, then cracked up, both of them laughing hard together. They put the movie on and settled on the couch together, comfortable.

  "Thank you." He smiled at Donny. "It's nice to just sit."

  "It is, isn't it? Just relax for a bit. And I won't even ask for gourmet popcorn." Donny's eyes twinkled at him.

  "Oh, you just wait; I'll get the curry out."

  Donny made a face. "Damn, I was thinking more caramel..."

  "Caramel corn with cashews. Mmm."

  "Oh, now that's a flavor I can get behind." Donny grinned at him.

  "Maybe tomorrow." He was too full to move.

  "I might hold you to that." Donny stretched and started the movie, smiling. Their legs settled against each other.

  It was better than he'd feared, less awkward. Weird. The movie was entertaining, Donny making comments that had him laughing. He thought Antonio Banderas' little blond friend was completely edible.

  Donny stretched when the movie was over. "Man, I love this movie. Thanks."

  "Me, too. You heading to bed or you want to watch one more?"

  "It's a nice grown-up evening. I wouldn't say no to another movie." Donny's smile was warm, friendly. Maybe a little sexy.

  "You pick this one." That way he could watch.

  "It's a deal." Donny went over to the bookcase of DVDs, taking his time to look through them.

  Jeff relaxed back, let himself admire when no one would notice.

  "You have Grease!" Donny laughed and pulled out the movie. "This is the only one that my sisters watched over and over that I actually liked."

  "Summer lovin'..." he sang, playfully.

  "Had me some fu-un." Donny laughed. "I think I recite this movie word for word."

  "Well, put it on, we'll sing along."

  Donny cackled and changed out the DVDs before coming back to sit with him again.

  Crazy. Absolutely crazy. That he'd be sitting and singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You" with a nanny while his children slept. Life was strange.

  Donny actually got up and did the dance for "We Go Together" at the end of the movie, laughing like crazy.

  He applauded, threw a pillow at the dork, both of them rolling with laughter. It wasn't until a tiny hand grabbed his shirt and tugged, that he looked down. "What are you doing out of bed, Robin?"

  "I heared you."

  "Oops. I'm sorry, Robin. We were singing along to the music." Donny bent down in front of Robin, smiling. "We didn't mean to wake you."

  Robin hugged Donny. "I sing?"

  Jeff chuckled. "I don't think these songs are for you, buddy."

  "We could sing Twinkle, Twinkle." Donny sat back down, putting Robin between them.

  "Star song!" Robin clapped, leaned against him and Jeff grabbed a blanket, wrapping his baby boy up.

  Donny led them through it, Robin's little voice joining in enthusiastically. He did love that happy sound, how Robin cuddled into him, fingers holding his. They went through the song twice before Robin's eyelids started to sag. He hummed softly, nodding as Donny turned the lights down. Donny kept singing, voice becoming softer and softer until Robin's eyes closed for the last time.

  "Thank you," he mouthed.

  Donny just smiled and mouthed back "I'll take him up."

  He nodded, handed Robin over and started cleaning up from their snack. Donny disappeared, the soft sound of his singing trailing behind him. For the first time in almost a month, Jeff felt like he could do this.

  The house wasn't just quiet, it was peaceful; he had help; he'd gotten some sleep. Yeah. Maybe he could do this.

  Chapter Six

  Donny settled happily into a routine with the kids. Now that they had the things they needed, and the house was child-proofed, he felt like he had a handle on stuff. Jeff worked pretty crazy hours, but as they were consistent, Donny thought they were working.

  He was working more than originally agreed upon, but he didn't mind; it wasn't like he had a huge social life that he was missing by getting up with Robin in the mornings so Jeff could sleep in, or hanging out with them.

  This morning was no different. He was at one end of the couch, baby in one hand, Stephen King in the other, while Robin played with his b
uilding blocks -- which were spread everywhere -- in the middle of the living room.

  "...me alone, you bastard!" Jeff's voice trickled downstairs, the man sounding utterly furious.

  "Hey, Robin, you wanna tell me about what you're building?" He gave the boy a smile and patted the space next to him. Hopefully if Robin was talking and distracted, he wouldn't hear Jeff.

  "Momma's house."

  "...anymore." Something upstairs shattered. Oh man. It did not sound like things were getting any better with Jeff's phone call.

  "It looks like a great house. How many rooms does it have?"

  "Momma's room. Kim's room. My room. Bathroom."

  "Is there a kitchen?" He just needed to keep Robin occupied.

  "No. Daddy Jeff's house has a kitchen."

  Jeff came down the stairs, face like a thundercloud.

  "Didn't Momma's house have a kitchen?" he asked Robin the question, but he was looking at Jeff, let his eyebrows go up.

  Jeff almost looked like he was going to cry.

  "Nope."

  Jeff shook his head. "It did, too. It was yellow."

  "Why don't you see if you can remember and can build it? I'm going to go to the kitchen and get Daddy Jeff a cup of coffee, okay?" He kissed the top of Robin's head and stood, Kimmie still sleeping in his arms. He nodded toward the kitchen.

  Jeff followed him, heading right for the backdoor, head leaning on the screen. "That motherfucker."

  "The ex?" It was his best guess.

  "He wants the house. My house!"

  "Wow. That's... Can he do that?" What an utter fuckwad. Why had a nice guy like Jeff been with him?

  "No. No, but he can bluster and bitch and threaten to sue and piss me off." Jeff sighed. "He's claiming this was our house. I designed it. I built it. I paid for it."

  "I thought he broke up with you? Isn't it the breakupee who's supposed to be an asshat?"

  "Yeah." Jeff sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. "I hate waking up to that sh...stuff."

  "I bet. Is there anyone you need to call? Like a lawyer or someone?"

  "I'll talk to Cathy later. Right now, I just want my coffee and to believe that the day's getting better." Jeff winked at him, and that warm smile hit him, balls deep. "How are you, Donny?"

  He found himself smiling back at Jeff, caught in the lovely eyes. "Hmmm?"

  "Having a good day? Have you guys eaten breakfast?"

  "We are. We had Cheerios and then quiet time in the living room."

  "Would you like bacon sandwiches?"

  "Really?" He all but drooled, only this time over the food. "Yes, please."

  "I'll make some." Jeff started moving, then stopped, came over, and kissed Kimmie's little head. "Morning, sweet baby," he whispered.

  Donny felt his heart melt a little bit and he had to stop himself from taking a kiss of his own. He was going to have to stop noticing how handsome Jeff was. He was going to get in real trouble. Long term heartbreak trouble.

  "I should check on Robin."

  "Okay, I'll start bacon." Jeff smiled at him, the look simply breathtaking.

  He smiled back, caught there for another moment before he shook himself, hard, and went to check on Robin, Kimmie still asleep in his arm.

  Robin was busily building either a dinosaur, a semi truck, or an elephant. It was hard to tell. He watched for a moment, enjoying the happy kid; this was why he had to resist falling for Jeff because then he'd have to leave and he didn't want to leave these kids.

  Robin looked up, grinned. "A twuck."

  Oh, he'd been right. Go him. "I thought so. It looks good."

  The little boy beamed at him, then bent back to his work, at least until the scent of frying bacon hit the air.

  Grinning, he held out his hand. "Come on, let's go see if Daddy needs any help."

  Robin took his fingers and grinned. "Daddy Jeff! I help!"

  Jeff's laughter trickled in. "I have a bowl of grapes on the table for you to pull off the stems."

  Donny had to admit, the man learned quickly.

  They joined Jeff in the kitchen and Donny started to prepare a bottle for Kimberley, who was beginning to make her wake up faces.

  It looked like Jeff had recovered, the smells of brunch delicious.

  "I'm going to get fat," Donny announced as he took the bottle of milk out of the microwave.

  "Nonsense. This is good, honest food."

  He laughed and that was what woke Kimmie up, her little face screwing up immediately to scream. "Hey, sweetie, none of that." He jogged her in his arm and tested the temperature on the bottle.

  He popped the bottle in her mouth just before scream number two, and Robin looked up from the grapes. "She's a stupid loud baby. You should give her back."

  He bit the inside of his cheek, really hard, to keep from laughing. "I know she doesn't seem to do much but cry and poop and sleep right now, but soon you'll have someone to play with."

  Jeff nodded. "Besides, she needs you to be her big brother. You're the only big brother she'll ever have."

  "I wish I'd had a big brother like you." Donny sat next to Robin. "Can I have a grape?"

  "Yes." Robin picked out one for him and he ate it.

  "Yum. That was a good one." It was all so domestic. Donny loved it.

  Jeff leaned over his shoulder, chest solid and hot against him. "Me too."

  Oh, man. That felt good. For half a moment, he leaned back against Jeff. Robin popped a grape into Jeff's lips, and then that heat faded, a touch to the side of his neck making him shiver.

  Okay, he had to get control of himself here. He was just the nanny. That was all. Just an employee.

  "Do you want mayo with your sandwich, Don?"

  "No, thanks." He'd take the hunk of a chef cooking it though. He mentally rolled his eyes at himself; that was not remembering he was just an employee.

  "Okay. Robin, are you almost ready?"

  Robin nodded. "Almost finished!"

  Donny chuckled, pulling himself together. "So's Kimberley."

  "Excellent. Bacon sandwiches and home fries for the family."

  Donny put Kimberley over his shoulder to burp her and licked his lips. The food looked very yummy.

  "You eat. I'll burp." Jeff took Kimberley and the cloth, bouncing her and walking around.

  Donny didn't say no to that; he was too busy stuffing his face and making "Mmm good" noises.

  "You like bacon sandwiches?" he finally asked Robin as he slowed down to savor.

  "Sammiches." Robin ate his sandwich slowly, in pieces.

  Donny went to the fridge and grabbed the ketchup for his home fries.

  Kimberley was popped in her swing, Jeff humming under his breath.

  Donny nodded, pleased to see the man getting into the swing of things, coming into his own as Daddy. These kids needed the man present and happy and there for them as much as possible. He was beginning to believe Jeff had just needed a little sleep.

  "Thanks, Jeff. That rocked."

  "Thanks, Daddy Jeff!" Robin went and hugged Jeff's leg before heading back to his blocks.

  Donny cleared his own and Robin's plates, started washing them.

  "Anytime." Jeff leaned against the fridge, eyes closed.

  "Tired?" Donny asked as he put the last glass in the dish rack.

  "No. Headache. I'll be fine."

  "Can I get you some aspirin, or an ice pack or something?"

  "No, Don. I'm good. I just... I hate being woken up to nastiness."

  "How about a massage? That should help wipe out the crappy phone call."

  Those eyes met his. "Are you cool with that? I don't want to make you... uncomfortable."

  "I think I can handle it if you can. And I wouldn't have offered if I hadn't meant it."

  Jeff nodded and sat at the kitchen table. Donny stood behind Jeff and started rubbing his shoulders. They were wide and strong, warm. And maybe this hadn't been such a good idea because maybe he was going to like it just a little too much.

&nbs
p; He dug his thumbs in, and Jeff groaned, head falling forward toward the table. Ignoring the fact that Jeff smelled good, and that the skin beneath his hands was warm and smooth, Donny kept massaging, working the tense muscles.

  "God. You rock."

  Donny chuckled, the warmth going to his belly and all the way to his toes. "Thanks."

  "You're like the best damn present, you know? I'd have been insane by now."

  He chuckled. "Like the gay version of Mary Poppins?"

  Jeff chuckled. "You're way cuter and less stiff upper lip."

  "Thank you, Daddy Jeff." He kept the comment about exactly what he could do with his upper lip to himself. There were, after all, kids in the room. Not to mention Jeff was his boss.

  "You're welcome, Donny Poppins."

  They cracked up together, their laughter filling the air. When Kimberley laughed, hard and loud, they both stopped. God, how beautiful.

  "Did you see that?" he asked quietly, hands resting on Jeff's shoulders.

  Jeff nodded, body beginning to shake, sobs rocking the man. "Beth should be here. That laugh belonged to her."

  "Oh, Jeff. Man." He squeezed Jeff's shoulders and then went down onto his knees, arms wrapping around the man. "It isn't your fault."

  Jeff stiffened for a second, then pushed into his arms, crying hard, mourning. Had Jeff had a chance to really let go and cry over Beth before now? Or had he tried to tough it out because of the kids? Donny rocked the man, patted his back and murmured soothingly. Jeff held on, the sorrow hard and deep, pouring out of the man.

  "It's okay, Jeff. It's okay. Let it out. Let it all out."

  It took a few more minutes, then Jeff wound down, breath hitching. Donny kept rocking, patting Jeff's back. He wondered again if it was the first time Jeff had really let go like that. If so, it had been long overdue.

  "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry, Don."

  "It's okay. Really. I bet you've been holding it in for a long time."

  "I just... She loved them, so much."

  Donny nodded. She'd gone to a fair bit of trouble to have them. "It's pretty fucking shitty that she died."

  "It is. And she hurt for twenty hours before she went. She smelled like burned flesh. I just... It's not right, Don. It's just not fucking right."

  Donny held back his shudder; how terrible for Beth to have gone through it, and for Jeff to have seen it, held her hand 'til the end. "No, it's not. But it's what happened." You couldn't change what had happened. No matter how hard you wanted to. It was awful, but you couldn't wish it away.